If one sentence from Sooky Rottweiler seeped into popular culture, I'd want it to be Mittaines' Razor; "They're all like that, they're all the same". So many people think like that, and they all think they are right!
Take, for example, feminism. A year ago I liked third generation feminism. It was a change from the fear-mongering, "all sex is rape" second-generation feminism that sees women as eternal victims. A relief from the miserabilist Jeanette Bertrands of my youth. But my enthusiasm for third-generation feminism suffered a serious blow the first time I heard someone say "Not all men" in a sarcastic way and was finished off when I heard the "shroedinger's rapist" and bowl-of-M&Ms-with-one-poisoned-in-the-bunch analogies. This is just fear mongering, just what I hated about second-generation feminism in the first place.
Imagine, just for one second, if we followed that nonsense literally. Don't talk to any of the dozens of men in your workspace, they're potential rapists! If you go shopping, don't talk to any, any man in the store, they are potential rapists. Don't talk to any man on the street, they're potential rapists. Heck, what makes you think your own brother, boyfriend/husband, father or even your own son isn't a potential rapist after all?
What are women supposed to do? Never leave the house? Isolate themselves on an island where there is no men? Seriously, this argument is not unlike the anti-drug campaings of the 1980s that lost all credibility the day someone smoked marijuana and did not die from having his skull cracked open and his brain fried in a pan. It is just nonsense to any women who ever talked to a man without being raped.
Also, I have a hard time with the expression "male privilege" as sexism doesn't privilege anyone. Just for example, let's look at a few sexist ideas:
Women use sex to cheat men out of money / Men use feelings to cheat women out of sex
Women are too emotional / Men have only one emotion, anger
Women's place is in the kitchen / Men are brain dead in the kitchen
Women are too emotional / Men have only one emotion, anger
Women's place is in the kitchen / Men are brain dead in the kitchen
Women aren't interested in love, just money / Men have no love to offer, just money
All women who have cats are lonely / All men who play video games are lonely
All women who have cats are lonely / All men who play video games are lonely
Now, which one of those two insults to human intelligence sounds like a privilege? To me, neither. Just the act of being considered a complete, complex human being (i.e, not a poisoned candy, for example) is not a privilege but a right. Sexism takes that away from everyone. But do we need to pretend all that rhubbish is a privilege to anyone to just get rid of it?
The word privilege itself is very subjective. It just means whatever different people have that you don't have. I'm going to ask something pretty crazy here, put yourself in the skin of a "bronie", an adult male fan of My Little Pony...Wait, I'm as tempted to make fun of them as you are but seriously, why does anyone care if they watch a show marketed to girls? What does it take away from anyone? They are one of the most hated groups on the internet, just because their taste challenges our definition of "adult" and "male". We complain the cliché that men only want crude comedy, boobs, beer and explosions, but look at what we say about people who like something that couldn't be further from that! From their point of view, women have a privilege they want; they can be interested in what they like without being labelled "creepy", "immature" or, worst yet, "pedophiles".
The word privilege itself is very subjective. It just means whatever different people have that you don't have. I'm going to ask something pretty crazy here, put yourself in the skin of a "bronie", an adult male fan of My Little Pony...Wait, I'm as tempted to make fun of them as you are but seriously, why does anyone care if they watch a show marketed to girls? What does it take away from anyone? They are one of the most hated groups on the internet, just because their taste challenges our definition of "adult" and "male". We complain the cliché that men only want crude comedy, boobs, beer and explosions, but look at what we say about people who like something that couldn't be further from that! From their point of view, women have a privilege they want; they can be interested in what they like without being labelled "creepy", "immature" or, worst yet, "pedophiles".
Sometimes I wonder if Simone de Beauvoir herself saw all the stuff said online. Would she even call that feminism (or its counterpart, "men's rights") or just people venting out their sexual frustration? For example, there would be plenty of clichés to be taken down about men (one website that does wonders at this is the goodmenproject.com); the idea that men are angry, roving inseminators or the fact that the most famous male role model our generation had is Homer Simpson (or similar idiots) but men's right groups madly revolve around one common complaint :"I can't get laid!", "Women only have sex with the bad guys!". First of all, anyone who says "I'm a good guy" is really saying "I have a huge ego". We all see ourselves as the hero of our own movie and others as the bad guys. Human nature made us that way and Hollywood recuperated it.
Second, I could pick up anyone reading this, not knowing if they are male or female, hetero or gay, or even transgender but four things would be constant:
1) You will want love from someone, sometime
2) You won't be able to get everything you want, when you want it.
1) You will want love from someone, sometime
2) You won't be able to get everything you want, when you want it.
3) #2 will hurt. A lot.
and 4) You'll think it would be much easier if you were someone else. It's the proverbial neighbor's lawn.
There are some things that change, some that don't. Gender roles, what feminism tries to change, has changed throughout history. The reality of heartbreak is constant, though. It's just a side effect of being a sexual being. It was not invented by feminism, lonely MRAs, half of western litterature since ancient Greece spoke about it. You just can't escape it, just learn to live with it. There is no magic recipe for love, no pick up artists (can you believe that in 2014 people still take MTV reality shows that seriously?), no rules, no books, and the only piece of online dating advice that will ever make any kind of sense is "Get off the computer and go meet people". It might not get you laid the first time, but you will get more comfortable around people. It just can't hurt. Have compassion for yourself, then have compassion for others, even if they don't have the same set of genitals as you and accept that they, too, can have compassion for you without entering into a childish argument about who has it worse.
As for angry people on the internet? Those calling all women gold diggers (or worse) or women laughing at you for daring to point out that not all men are like that? Keep in mind that just like men are not entitled to sex for opening a door to a woman, no man has to endure sarcasm and insults just to prove that he's not a poisoned candy. Just like men are not entitled to sex, women are not entitled to hear what they want to hear, at the moment they want to hear it, with the words they want to hear, on the precise tone of voice they want to hear it as if on cue. Not only they are not entitled to that, it is just not possible. Welcome to the World of imperfect human communication.
If you see someone angrily ranting against men/women on the internet, just step away. If they have been ranting for days, do you think that somehow you have the power to bring them to some divine epiphany that makes them sane again? Some feminists say that you have to be angry to be a feminist. I disagree with that. Not because it is "wrong" for women to be angry, we all experience anger at some point in our lives, it's a human emotion, but because anrgy people are not rational and, generally speaking, a pain in the ass. They can't be brought back to reason with arguments, they just want to spit out their violence at anyone they can to feel better for a few minutes. If they are, in any remote way, using or hearing Mittaines' Razor then all hope is gone and stop wasting your time The only thing you can do is not be that person they tear to shreds for relief. You can't save them but save yourself because after taking that much hate, you can find yourself exactly like them.
If you see someone angrily ranting against men/women on the internet, just step away. If they have been ranting for days, do you think that somehow you have the power to bring them to some divine epiphany that makes them sane again? Some feminists say that you have to be angry to be a feminist. I disagree with that. Not because it is "wrong" for women to be angry, we all experience anger at some point in our lives, it's a human emotion, but because anrgy people are not rational and, generally speaking, a pain in the ass. They can't be brought back to reason with arguments, they just want to spit out their violence at anyone they can to feel better for a few minutes. If they are, in any remote way, using or hearing Mittaines' Razor then all hope is gone and stop wasting your time The only thing you can do is not be that person they tear to shreds for relief. You can't save them but save yourself because after taking that much hate, you can find yourself exactly like them.
That's what happened to third-generation feminism after a year of arguing with angry dudebros.
